


you are the proof (that love is beautiful)

by mysterytwin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gardens, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Spoilers for Ch370 onwards, Trains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:20:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21927331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysterytwin/pseuds/mysterytwin
Summary: Kageyama doesn’t know how to love. Hinata shows him how.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 29
Kudos: 249





	you are the proof (that love is beautiful)

**Author's Note:**

> no thoughts head empty just chapter 378

Kageyama Tobio does not know how to love.

It isn’t that he is incapable of it—of course he is, but he’s never really loved anyone before. He doesn’t have any friends, and people don’t like him, not even animals, so there really isn’t any point of him loving anyone in return. It’s a little sad that love is so strange, so foreign to him, but that’s just how it is. Love is a question he thinks he will never be able to find the answer to, an unsolvable problem, and maybe it will stay that way for the rest of his life.

That is what he believes, anyway, right up until high school. Because then he meets Hinata Shouyou, and he brings all the answers with him.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Hinata is loud and annoying and talkative. He is bright and sunny and determined. He is simple and kind and caring. He is everything Kageyama isn’t, and so much more.

They don’t really get along at the start. They argue and they bicker, and it doesn’t look too good most of the time. But when Kageyama sets to him for the first time, something about that changes. It feels like there might be something _there,_ after all, a friendship of sorts. A partnership, maybe.

He has no idea what is it about Hinata that draws him a little bit closer each and every day. He’s a firecracker with a lopsided grin, bound to be explosive at the best and worst of times. It’s a little odd, but it’s not long until Kageyama finds himself looking for Hinata’s face in every crowd, or when he starts sitting with him for lunch. And it’s not that Kageyama sits with Hinata and his other friends—rather, they start finding secluded spots, small spaces where they can eat and talk and play. It’s…nice. It’s really, really nice.

Kageyama’s never really had a friend before. Someone to call his own.

If he’s being honest, Kageyama had thought that Hinata would only stick around to practice with him. An invisible _volleyball only_ rule that applied when they hung out. And it’s sad, he knows, because people have only ever wanted volleyball from him, but it’s better than nothing. But—Hinata keeps staying. Sometimes, they don’t even play volleyball and they just…talk. On the way to school, then back home, and during lunch. It’s mostly Hinata speaking, but Kageyama listens, and he’ll occasionally share a story of his own. It’s unusual, and it’s new, but Kageyama likes it.

And he thinks that maybe Hinata does, too.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Hinata says one day. A hand of his holds one handle of his bike, and Kageyama holds the other.

“As long as it’s not stupid,” Kageyama says, and that earns a scoff from Hinata. He smiles, though, just a little bit, watching the way the sunset spills into Hinata’s eyes and skin, brighter than ever before.

“Did you really mean it? What you said before?” Hinata asks, voice small, and Kageyama watches as he fidgets with the hem of his shirt, eyes on the ground before him—Hinata’s tells of nervousness.

“What are you talking about?” Kageyama asks, and he tries for something gentle, because he doesn’t want to push too hard. There’s hardly any moments now that Hinata is nervous or scared around him, and Kageyama may pretend to be annoyed by the fact that glaring no longer works, but he really doesn’t mind that much anymore. He likes it even more when Hinata smiles at him.

Hinata lets out a breath. “When you said that I’d be invincible with you,” he says. “Did you mean it?”

Kageyama stares at him. Hinata’s face is completely serious. There’s that look in his eye—the kind he only gets during volleyball games—and it sends chills down Kageyama’s spine.

“Of course I did,” he says, soft enough not to be considered harsh, but strong enough to show his conviction. “Don’t ever think otherwise.”

Hinata looks at him, and his expression shifts into something else—still determined, but brimming with something Kageyama can’t quite decipher. His eyes shine, and he breaks out into a grin.

“Good,” Hinata says.

Kageyama nods. Of course they’d be invincible together, there’s no question about it. He knows deep in his bones that they’ll be able to reach the top of the world, and they’ll do whatever it takes.

Hinata continues rambling on about the latest manga he’s been reading, and Kageyama listens along. It’s the happiest he’s been in a long time.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“Slow down, you idiot!” Kageyama yells, running after Hinata. The hill is steep, and the summer heat beats down on his back as sweat begins to form on his forehead.

“Hurry up! We’re almost there!” Hinata calls. He’s already reached the top, and is looking over at the view. Kageyama grunts, and picks up a little more speed.

When he does reach the top, the view is breathtaking. It’s a grassy, expansive meadow, filled with flowers of different colors. It goes on for miles, and Kageyama stares right at it. Wind blows at him, a gentle breeze carrying its own tune and he welcomes it gratefully. Sunlight shines down on the meadow, and it looks almost magical, enchanted in its own special way.

“My family used to come here all the time,” Hinata says. “We’d have picnics and fly kites. Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yeah,” Kageyama says, and he can’t take his eyes off the view ahead of him. It’s almost like a whole different world. “It is.”

“I think so, too,” Hinata says, and Kageyama turns to Hinata to find him looking right back at him, a soft smile on his face. Something warm unfurls in his stomach whenever Hinata looks at him like that. “Thanks for coming with me, by the way. We’re gonna have so much fun!”

Kageyama snorts. “You better have made some damn good food because this picnic basket is heavy as hell.”

“You’ll see!” Hinata exclaims. “Or taste, I think. Heh.”

He only rolls his eyes. “Dumbass.”

Hinata elbows him, eyes shining. He really is something unusual, Kageyama thinks, and charming in his own strange way. He’d even gotten Kageyama pulled into his orbit.

“Come on, Bakageyama! Race you down the hill!” Hinata says, laughing, before taking off. “Catch me if you can!”

“Oi—” Kageyama says, shaking his head, and running right after him. He can’t help the smile that grows on his face, and he’s glad Hinata can’t see it.

He catches up to Hinata in no time, grabbing his arm.

“Caught you,” Kageyama says, and Hinata beams.

Kageyama feels his heart pick up. He’s surprised to find that he’s not afraid. Not if it’s Hinata.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Kageyama falls in love with Hinata Shouyou on that summer day.

He never stops after that.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Hinata is the most unpredictable person Kageyama has ever met. And that’s saying something, because he’s encountered both Oikawa and Bokuto from Fukurodani. He can never quite tell with Hinata; there’s always something new, something exciting with him around, and Kageyama’s always caught in his whirlwind. He can’t say he’s too annoyed by it anymore. He’s always trying out new things, never one to back down from a fight, and sometimes Kageyama can only watch from the sidelines in amazement.

Yachi told him that Hinata would be with Takeda and Ukai to discuss his future, so that’s where he’s heading now. His head peaks through the door, a rice ball in hand, and he sees Hinata watching a beach volleyball match on a screen. He makes the connection easily enough. Hinata had asked him what he thought of beach volleyball, and Kageyama had replied with how he thought it would do for good training. It seems like Hinata had taken it to heart.

“I’m thinking about going to Brazil,” Hinata says when Kageyama takes a seat next to him. His eyes don’t leave the screen. “To play beach volleyball.”

“Okay,” Kageyama says. “That’s—” _so far away._ “It’s a good idea.”

“You think so?” Hinata asks him. There’s something at the edge of his voice—unsure almost.

Kageyama nods. It is, he knows it is. The sand will help him jump higher, and improve his stamina, though it’s already boundless as it is. “Yeah,” he answers. “How long will you be gone?”

“Two years,” Hinata says. He pauses the game to look at him. “Hey, Kageyama, I—”

“What?”

He shakes his head. “Never mind. It’s nothing.”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow, but lets it pass. Hinata usually comes around after a while, especially if it’s important.

“Can I watch with you?” he asks, holding out his rice ball. “You can have half of it.”

Hinata nods, thanks him, and presses play. Kageyama watches the game with him, silent by his side. On the screen, a spiker runs up to hit a toss. Meanwhile, Kageyama tries not to think about the distance that will soon separate them.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Kageyama is already awake when Hinata opens his eyes. He looks beautiful even when he’s sleepy, the morning light gentle on his skin. He tries to memorize all of it. Hinata’s presence, the feeling in his chest, the way the light moves. _Remember this moment before it all disappears,_ he tells himself, _it will all be gone soon enough._ Kageyama’s hand reaches out to brush Hinata’s hair from his eyes.

“What are you doing?” Hinata mumbles with a small smile.

 _Falling in love with you,_ Kageyama thinks. Every day, a work in progress, a planet orbiting the sun. Hinata has always made it easy, and Kageyama doesn’t think he’ll ever stop.

He’s not sure he ever wants to.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“So this is it, then,” Hinata says. Kageyama is reminded than Brazil is ten thousand, seven hundred, and eighty-seven miles away.

He stares right at Hinata. He thinks to himself that maybe this is what the poets always say, the tragedy of unrequited love, the misfortune of having it taken away from you. He thinks about the stories, where souls reach for each other despite the dark, where words are thoughts voiced with courage. He thinks that maybe he should’ve never learned to love at all, if this is what it all comes down to.

Because love is loud and annoying and talkative. Love is bright and sunny and determined. Love is simple and kind and caring. Love shouldn’t have been possible for Kageyama, and yet he had learned it anyway.

Because love wears mismatched socks and forgets to do his homework. Love rambles on the way home and tries to count the stars. Love eats more meat buns that he can handle, can do a handstand, and will cry over the same movie again and again. Love makes mistakes and fights with him, but always apologizes when it gets too much. Because love is _enough_ , and always has been, no matter what anyone says or where the future takes them. Because love has always stayed with him, even when things were rough. Because love was _home,_ even if it was just for a short while, and Kageyama was almost fooled into thinking he could keep it.

Because _love_ is Hinata Shouyou, and he is leaving.

But the thing is, Kageyama knows he doesn’t regret it. Not falling in love, not meeting Hinata—he could never do such a thing. Hinata is the best damn thing that’s ever happened to him, and he’d be even more of an idiot he already is to think otherwise. Because before Hinata, Kageyama had never let anyone in like this, and he can’t imagine going back to a time before it. It’s a tricky and beautiful thing, love, and Kageyama is only just beginning to understand it.

“Come home someday,” Kageyama says, and maybe it’s the last time he’ll see Hinata Shouyou. Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t, but Kageyama feels an ache in his chest all the same.

Hinata nods. His arms open wide, and Kageyama doesn’t miss the way tears begin to form in his eyes. Kageyama’s close to crying himself. He steps into the hug, holding his best friend tightly. He holds on while he still can, and thinks about how one day it might be easy to let go.

“I’m going to miss you,” Hinata mumbles, sniffling, and Kageyama takes in a deep breath. “Just ‘cause you’re with the big shots now doesn’t mean you can forget me, okay?”

“Dumbass,” he says, because he’s not really sure what else he can say to change this, to make things slow down. “As if I could ever forget you.”

Hinata steps back and wipes his eyes. He looks more determined now, smiling brightly, and Kageyama grins right back at him.

“I’ll make you see me,” Hinata says proudly. “I’ll make everyone see me.”

 _I’ve always seen you,_ Kageyama wants to say, but he knows it’s actually the other way around. Hinata’s never had trouble with the spotlight, but for all the times that Kageyama’s attracted the eyes of many crowds, journalists, and scouts—Kageyama had never felt more seen than when Hinata saw him.

“The world will finally witness Hinata Shouyou!” Hinata exclaims, holding a fist to his chest. Kageyama rolls his eyes at the exaggeration, but knows that it is a promise more than anything.

There is something to be said about missed opportunities and wasted chances, he knows. And it hurts him to think of what they could’ve been, had he been a little stronger, a bit more braver. (Kisses on cheeks, lips, hands held, legs tangled under sheets.) But it is also in times like these that Kageyama knows it is better to settle, to leave things as they are than lose everything. It is a gamble he can’t take. First loves are always bittersweet, and Kageyama will cling onto the aftertaste.

“You better make sure of that,” Kageyama says.

“Of course,” Hinata tells him. The smile he wears never wavers. He holds out his hand. “To the top, remember?”

Kageyama takes it. “To the top of the world.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Kageyama Tobio knows how to love.

He learns it in the way Hinata Shouyou enters his life, a hurricane in the making, unapologetic and vibrant. He learns it from the way he falls in love with the summer boy, always on his toes and reaching for the sun. And he also learns it when he watches Hinata leave, taking his heart with him with the promise to return.

He knows how to love. It’s taken him a while, but he’s starting to understand.

And maybe one day, love will come back to him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to,_ _and love leaves exactly when love must._

_When love arrives, say “Welcome, make yourself comfortable.”_

_If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her, turn_ _off the music, listen to the quiet, whisper, “Thank you for stopping by.”_

—Sarah Kay & Phil Kaye

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! <3


End file.
